Counseling tips, thoughts, resources

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve.  People in my life are talking about parties, food, football games, gatherings, resolutions, gym memberships, and going back to work next week.  As I sift through people's Facebook posts, Instagram posts, and Tweets, I am looking for inspiration for topics to cover on these last days of 2017.  Something that a few friends have mentioned is finding love in 2018.  Whether they are divorced, never married, or widowed, I know people who are hoping to find that one true, and final, love of their life next year.  Sounds great.  Truly.  It does.  As I filter through advice columns, dating app reviews, and comments made by married people who are offering their own advice on dating, I have noticed a concept that has come up a few times.  Self-partnering.  Have you heard of self-partnering ?  Until this week, I had not.  Self-partnering, in the simplest terms, is loving yourself unconditionally.  It...

Did you know that cookies as we know them have roots in Medieval European history?  Check out this  food timeline .  Or, how about this link to a list of Christmas Cookies recipes? All I want for Christmas, apparently, is carbs.  I have been baking and baking for weeks now.  It usually happens like this.  The holiday season rolls around and I get the itch to bake amazing culinary creations.  There is no denying that I have a sweet tooth, so I'm no stranger to cookies all year long.  But, this season tends to bring out my bread and pie making abilities as well. Grandmom Wilson The Christmas season in general brings up memories for me of family, gifts, illnesses (for several years I was sick ON Christmas Day- which made for awful holiday pics), church, special homemade church outfits, decorations, and friends.  I could go on several bird-walks here about each of these areas of seasonal memories.  For now, I want to focus on family....

Today is International Mountain Day.   In all honesty, I had never heard of it until Elvis Duran mentioned it on his morning show today.  Did you know that 13% of the world's population live on mountains/in mountain communities?  And, mountains provide 60-80% of the world's freshwater?  I can't even wrap my head around that.  Check out more interesting facts here: http://www.un.org/en/events/mountainday/ So, what a perfect day for a mountain theme.  It is funny because a couple of weeks ago, the pastor at church asked, "Where does your mountain begin?"  That question resonated with me, both personally and professionally.  I have mountains.  You have mountains.  Without mountains, wouldn't life be plain?  Yes, pun intended there.  Not all mountains are the same though.  You start climbing your mountain where you are.  At different points in our lives we are faced with truths, struggles, choices, mountains.  Frie...

Trauma.  Crisis.  Emergency.  Loss.  Grief.  Pain.  Numb. Maybe you have experienced a traumatic event in your life.  Maybe you know someone else who has.  Chances are that it is one of the two, or both.  Trauma can create point in our lives that we think of as the "before" and "after."  "Before" the trauma happened, you were (fill in the blank).  "After" the trauma, you were (fill in the blank).  It affects the victim.  It affects the people in the victim's life.  Teachers see it in the classroom and are learning about "trauma informed classrooms."  Employers are learning more about the need to support their staff through EAP options.  We need to learn about trauma and its effects so we can be better friends, partners, teachers, co workers, parents, and responsible citizens. This video is 18 minutes long.  Don't let that stop you from watching it.  There is some great information in this video...

It's Winter Break!  Well, almost.  The rush to turn in assignments is happening.  The "What can I do for extra credit?" conversation can be heard in classrooms all over.  Making plans for vacations?  Mapping out a sleep and R&R schedule?  Have you started your holiday shopping yet?! It's an interesting time of year.  It is the end of 2017 so we reflect on the year.  Maybe your Facebook account has conveniently put a slideshow together for you.  It is also the mid-point in the academic year.  High school seniors wait for college acceptance letters.  College students bring laundry home.  Parents worry that two weeks out of school will set their child(ren) back academically.  So, how do you make the most out of Winter Break?  How do you balance relaxation with responsibilities?   Some experts recommend reading.  Read anything.  A book, magazines, web pages.  Just read.  Keep your ...

Tomorrow is the first day of the last month of 2017!  Did you accomplish whatever you set out to do on Jan 1?  Did you lose the weight?  Get the job?  Make amends with a friend/family member?  Finally clean out the garage/attic/basement?  December is a great time to reflect on the year and try to end the year on a high note, no matter how the other 11 months may have treated you.  So, in reflection, here is a Year in Review from several sources. Instagram ( source ) Most followed- Selena Gomez with 130 million followers Most liked photo- Beyonce with her pregnancy announcement photo Most liked video- Cristiano Ronaldo showing off his Bugatti Top Hashtags (in order starting with the most popular)- love, fashion, photooftheday, photography, art Most Instagrammed Location- DisneyLAND, California Top Baby Names of 2017 ( source ) "Girl" name- Sophia, for the 8th year in a row "Boy"name- Jackson, for the 5th year in a row Celebrities W...

Today's message in church was about priorities and money.  I promise I am not getting "churchy" on you.  'Tis the season for giving...and wanting.  "What do you want?"  It's a question I have said so many times in the last week to people I give gifts to during the holiday.  And, honestly, it's a question I have had run through my own mind this week.  Buy two for you, one for me.  I don't have many people who give me gifts during the holidays.  I have two family members, and that's pretty much it for me this year.  I used to get gifts from co-workers, but a recent job change has removed that from my life.  As I get older though, I have found that I don't want gifts from the people in my life.  Sure, it is nice to be thought of and it is nice to receive, but I don't expect it.  The holidays really have become more about giving than receiving.  Unfortunately, that isn't always the case. The question raised in church is wher...

I hope everyone is enjoying the last days of Thanksgiving celebrations.  Not everyone celebrates the holiday, and not everyone gets off from work, but I do hope you were each able to find something to be thankful for this week, regardless of the date on the calendar.  I spent part of my holiday visiting "family" in New Jersey.  I say "family" because the person I stay with isn't a blood relative, but she is like a mother to me.  She is my father's girlfriend and she became an integral part of how our family changed over the last 15 years.  My father passed away four years ago, but I still visit his girlfriend.  My father left his home to her, my childhood home, so that is where I stay when I go home.  It will always be home.  I digress. Before I travel I always save movies to my ipad so I have something to watch at night when things are winding down.  This week I watched Welcome to Me  with Kristen Wiig (2014).  The movie is abo...

Feel free to share this with your families and friends today!  Happy Thanksgiving!! 1. Where was the first Thanksgiving feast? 2. What time of year was the feast really probably held? 3. Where were the Pilgrims from? 4. What was the name of the ship they came over on? 5. Besides the US, where else is Thanksgiving observed? 6. Which of the following statements is NOT true?      A. Turkeys can’t fly      B. They can run up to 25 mph      C. The average male turkey is twice the weight of the female turkey 7. When George Bush pardoned two turkeys in 2007, he:      A. Gave them to his cousin to raise on his farm in Texas      B. Sent them to Disney World      C. Flew them on Air Force One to New Hampshire and released 8. True or False: Thanksgiving is the biggest drinking night of the year. 9. Which of the following people wanted the turkey to be the national bird:     ...

Thanksgiving is tomorrow.  When we think of Thanksgiving we typically think of food, overindulgence, shopping, football, family, and maybe stretchy pants.  Did you hear about Stove Tops’ pants?    Must Have Stretchy Pants For me, Thanksgiving is more about family than anything else.  For a variety of personal reasons, Thanksgiving has looked different nearly every year.  Some years I have been with family.  Some years I have been with friends.  One year I was fortunate enough to celebrate with a Vietnamese family.  They had “traditional” American food and they also incorporated Vietnamese dishes.  Thanksgiving isn’t about food for me.  I’m a very picky eater and turkey is never something I look forward to eating.  I’m not even a fan of pumpkin pie.  The horror!  I make a pretty decent turkey (Ilyce Glink has a great recipe) and I make a really good pumpkin pie with homemade crust.  But, regardless, they just do...

In the last week, I have heard several stories of grief.  Grief shows up in all kinds of situations.  Death, break-ups, divorce, children moving away, parents moving away, loss of a job, loss of a friend, and the loss of the person we used to be.  In each of these situations, a person may find themselves experiencing the various stages of grief.  And, sometimes, these feelings go unrecognized as grief.  Grief is "normal" and helps us accept and regroup.  It is a process, however, that requires some trust, patience, and support.  Here are the stages of grief and an explanation of each of them (www.loveliveson.com): Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance How do you know if you are experiencing grief?  There are emotional and physical symptoms associated with grief.  If you aren't sure, ask someone close to you for honest feedback.  He/she might help you recognize the symptoms you are experiencing.  Some...

The holidays are upon us.  The Halloween costumes are put away and the holiday season is building momentum.  Countdowns to Christmas.  Planning Black Friday sales tactics.  Making last minute travel arrangements.  Losing that last 5 pounds to make room for more.  Spending time with people you love.  Receiving holiday cards from someone you haven't spoken to in way too long.  The holiday music!  Oh, the holiday music.  Can you believe Dominic the Donkey was voted the worst Christmas song??  (Mercury News, November 17, 2017) The holidays can also mean preparing to be around family you can't stand.  They can also bring us back to emotional places of loss and sadness.  What if the water heater goes while you are out of town?  Maybe money is tight and you can't give your loved ones the things and experiences they want and deserve.  Single people get stuck in the zone of avoiding dating until after the holiday...

What is keeping you from achieving your dreams?

This weekend marked the 25th anniversary of R.E.M.'s album Automatic for the People .  I can remember, very distinctly, making plans with a college friend to purchase the CD the day it was released.  That was 1992, way before iTunes and even Kazaa (remember that option??).  So, the day of the release, we drove to the record store, we each picked up a copy, and we returned to my friend's dorm room to listen.  We listened to the entire album.  We couldn't turn it off.  The music and lyrics were so moving.  Naturally, I purchased the anniversary edition of the album this weekend.  😎 I have listened to R.E.M. since I first heard them in the late 80's on the local college radio station, 89.7, WGLS.  They became a part of my adolescence and have continued to be a presence in my adulthood.  My ex husband and I used to argue about them because he couldn't stand them (sorry guys).  Argue over music?  Yup.  Clearly we had other...

Bullying.  We hear about it, we see it in the news, I hear about it as a counselor, and I remember my own experiences in school related to bullying.  According to the Georgia Department of Education, the definition of bullying is: Bullying   In accordance with O.C.G.A. § 20-2-751.4, bullying means an act which occurs on school property, on school vehicles, at designated school bus stops, or at school related functions or activities, or by use of data or software that is accessed through a computer, computer system, computer network, or other electronic technology of a local school system, that is: 1) Any willful attempt or threat to inflict injury on another person, when accompanied by an apparent present ability to do so; 2) Any intentional display of force such as would give the victim reason to fear or expect immediate bodily harm; or 3) Any intentional written, verbal, or physical act, which a reasonable person would perceive as being intended to threaten, haras...

This morning while on my way to work, I was listening to the radio.  I was switching between The Bert Show here in Atlanta and The Elvis Duran Show in NYC.  I'll admit, these morning shows provide me with most of my current events news.  I'm not one to watch the news at night nor will I visit a news website.  I'm not against those sources, I just don't.  So, back to my point.  On each of these shows this morning they mentioned yet another allegation of sexual assault against a person in Hollywood.  This actress, Kristina Cohen, was referring to an incident involving actor Ed Westwick.  He has already responded, via Twitter,  “I do not know this woman. I have never forced myself in any manner, on any woman. I certainly have never committed rape." I don't want to debate the allegations.  My point in mentioning this is, on the heels of the Weinstein and Spacey allegations, the news has become saturated with stories of victims findin...

My kids always seemed to ask "Is this gonna hurt?" when they were at the doctor for their immunizations.  There's no simple answer because everyone's experience is different.  This week I had several clients mention that they weren't sure what to expect when they walked in for the first time.  Seeking out counseling can be a scary task.  Some people might even put it off because of the fear of the unknown.  According to an article published in Time.com on December 3, 2014, 65% of adults with symptoms of depression were not seeking help from a mental health professional (Park, 2014). Sixty-five percent!  Depression is just one reason why someone might seek counseling, but that statistic still gives us a glimpse into the number of people who reach out for help. So, what keeps people away?  There are many factors to consider: finances, transportation, limited access due to geography, and perhaps cultural beliefs.  I might discuss each of thes...

Welcome to my blog!! You are reading my first blog post.  Thanks!  I'd love to hear what brought you here. I am a licensed therapist reaching out to you, to offer information about mental health and services available.  We'll see where it takes us.  We are in this journey together, so please feel free to tell me what you would like to know or learn more about. I had the pleasure of meeting with Dr. Nikki Hirshowitz, a local chiropractor, today.  I'll admit that it was my first time in a chiropractor's office, so I didn't know what to expect.  When I first arrived they weren't open for the day yet, so the office was empty except for the employees.  Everyone was so friendly and welcoming!  When I left the office, the doors had been open for 15 minutes and the place was packed!  There were things happening in every corner.  It was amazing to see how busy they were and how well everyone was working together.  The clients were s...